Job Seeker Workshop - How long can you afford to be unemployed?

Too many people these days are struggling with unemployment.  People are being laid off for many reasons.  Companies are closing down, down sizing or moving to contractors.  Many times those contracts are also being shut down early or cancelled all together.  Let's face it, time are tough and better days are not expected in the immediate future.

What are employers looking for?  Who is getting the jobs or positions that you are perfect for but not getting that call for?

Do you know, that on average, there are 50 applicants for every position advertised?  Some positions may have as many as hundreds of applicants.   The right resume and cover letter are needed to even get you noticed.  The right interview skills are needed to keep you in their view.  and the right follow up is needed to get you that job.

Do you know how to network properly?  Do you know where to meet those who are doing the hiring?  Do you now how to speak to them in ways that will get their attention?

Unemployment is never fun or easy.  Looking for a job is a full time job but one where you are distracted by bills you cannot pay and knowing you are at risk of losing the things you have worked hard for.  You may be a new graduate with thousands of dollars in student loans and pressure to just get something!!

I have developed a new workshop just for you.  It will two days of very intensive work developing two versions of your resume, cover letters, follow up and interview skills.  You will receive unique tools and information geared to YOU.  These workshops will be in the Ottawa area for now but I can be booked for workshops anywhere or for a one on one program.   Invest in yourself and in your future.  Two days could change your future.

www.unleashtheknow.com  Register  Now for Latest Programs and Workshops.  Choose your date and I will confirm location at least one week before the workshop.  Register early for ensure your preferred date.

New Year Resolutions

I hope that everyone enjoyed your Christmas holiday, are enjoying Kwanzaa or enjoyed Chanukah.  Whatever it is that you celebrate, we all have  a new year coming up in just days and with it, New Year Resolutions.  Either weight loss, regular gym attendance, more travel, more income, more joy or finding love are likely on your list.  On January 1, we are all motivated and enthusiastic and determined to succeed.  By February 1, most of these resolutions have been put on a shelf until later….whenever later may be.  Sometime during the year, perhaps on your birthday, perhaps  with a significant change in your circumstances, you think about it again.  So I ask you, what will you DO about it?  How will you make a plan to go back to those resolutions and make a change?  You need a plan.

Let’s begin with a change of vocabulary.  The pressure of New Year Resolutions can be overwhelming.  Do not aim to begin on January 1, 2014.  Begin the day you are reading this.  Everyday is the first day of the rest of your life.  It is a new beginning every time you wake up in the morning.  Prepare yourself to wake up tomorrow and begin with gratitude.  Tomorrow is day one of your Gratitude Plan.  This plan applies to men and women, young or old, fit or fat, wealthy or poor.  Your Gratitude Plan includes acknowledging all that is right and good in your life now, leaving all of “the stuff” from the past in the past and looking forward to the amazing things life is bringing you in the future.

We must all be aware that the most perfect life you see someone else living, is not perfect to them.  Every human being has stresses, worries, fears and pain, both physical and emotional, at times.  So keeping that in perspective,  jealousy and envy can be tossed out the window.  Even when you believe that you are, as a friend of mine says,  ”so po that you cannot afford the second o or r” you have something to be grateful for.  A hot drink, sunshine, a hot shower or the clothes on your back.  This may sound very pie in the sky to you…I understand that.  Do yourself a favour though,  give it a try.  What do you have to lose after all?  Do it in the shower every morning.  As you feel the hot water hitting your body, close your eyes and feel the warmth and massaging effect of it.  Say thank you for it.  Having a coffee or tea when you get out?  Imagine it and say thank you again.  Do you have a nice thick towel to wrap yourself up in after the shower?  As you are still under the water, imagine the warmth and softness of the towel.  Does the soap smell good?  Be thankful as you absorb the positive things invading your senses.

By the end of day five, you will not have to search for things to be grateful for.  The list will keep you going after you have dried off and are getting dressed for your day.  Did you stub your toe or wake up late?  Do not let it take over your day.  Make your gratitude a ritual that nothing gets to take away.  You will see such a difference in how the rest of your day progresses that you will find yourself talking to others about it.  It will even negate any bad moments.  You will learn to recognize that they are indeed, only moments in time and are not a reflection of you, your day to come nor do they influence any other activities in your day.

What does this have to do with losing weight or finding love?  Set gratitudes for your body.  Add it to your routine.  When you are in your shower and feeling gratitude, visualize your body as you want it to be  Focus on it.  Feel it.  See it.  Okay….plan your food and exercise for the day with the picture of your new body in your mind.  With a little bit of discipline and focus, you will find yourself saying no to that extra serving of potatoes and saying yes to a walk around the block instead.  Getting into shape truly is a one day at a time and step by step process.  Be grateful for your body and your health.   See your healthy body and know that it is within you. This is a method which has simple to follow directions, easy to understand and puts virtually no stress on you.  You may even find yourself upping the ante sooner rather than later.  You will take a second look at biking in the good weather and getting out more and watching tv less.  Snacks will evolve into healthier choices.  What have you done?  You have created a gratitude frame of mind that leads to lifestyle changes.   The same applies to finding love.  How?

When you learn to recognize all of the good in your life, you will find yourself smiling more, glowing more and walking with more of a bounce in your step.  You will dress with more confidence too.  You will take that extra moment to add a little touch.   I personally make sure that I do not walk out the door in the morning with out earrings and perfume.  You will develop a more attractive and magnetic aura which will, in turn, attract more positive and more charismatic people around you.   Love will be attracted to you and you will be more open to seeing it when it is near you.

A Gratitude Plan is your new life, beginning on the new day.  It does not require  a new year and will not die over time.  It is simple, easy, user friendly and free.  Be grateful in anticipation of good things to come.  Feel those things now and acknowledge them now.   Too many people feel fear in anticipation of something bad potentially happening, even when the odds are they will not actually happen.  Practice anticipating good things instead and see the difference it makes.  Bad things might happen however they do not need to take over your life.  Leave the past where it belongs, under the lessons learned category.

For help with a Life Plan, taking your Gratitude Plan to the next level, contact andrea@unleashtheknow.com.  I will work with you to develop a program specific to you.  Life is to be lived.  Live your dreams, not your fears.

Self Awareness and Life Coaching

Self Awareness; The Value of Early Discovery

Self awareness is where our dreams come from, how we know what we feel, where our intuition resides and where opportunity lies. My clients must develop their sense of self awareness early on in the coaching process so that the direction and desire to succeed can be articulated and the path laid out to make the dreams reality.

Once self awareness is developed and the client has begun to “tune in” to him or herself, the realization that there are no limits, sets in.  We begin to recognize our strengths.  We can acknowledge all that we have already accomplished and therefore, all that can be accomplished.   Self awareness is the key that opens the door to the future.  Recognizing our strengths and our own power means that we can change the direction we are heading in and redirect our energy into positive outcomes and a greater quality of life.

Some within my client base suffer from chronic illnesses such as Fibromyalgia.  As I also live with it, I know and understand how it can turn one’s life upside down. I also know, after suffering with it for fifteen years, that self awareness has allowed me to reduce my medication by over 75%.   Self awareness teaches one to focus on specific parts of the heart and mind, redirecting the negative energy into positive energy, even pain can be reduced.   It has changed bad days and good days to good days and great days

Self awareness gives the individual the power to be in charge of their own life.  As stated by Steve Jones in the video “it puts them in the drivers seat”  A client who cannot or will not develop this, will have limited success in any coaching program.  An individual must be conscious of what their options are, what options they are acting on, the results of their actions and the lessons learned from those actions.  Too many people go through life in a fog in terms of conscious decision making, unclear and without learning about themselves.  This leads to repetition of mistakes, poor choices and remaining in the same “stuck” spot throughout their lives (if they are fortunate enough not to slip backwards).  Consciousness or self awareness wakes you up!!!  It makes you say “hold on….if I do this….this is likely to happen whereas if I do that….that is likely to happen.  I have always done things this way and it hasn’t been working well for me.  Now I know that doing it THAT way is more likely to have the results I am looking for”.

Self awareness does not mean letting others make decisions for you.  While there is value in the experiences and paths of loved ones and trusted friends, they are not living your life.  They generally do not have to live with the consequences of your actions and it is nearly impossible that anyone else knows every single thought or feeling you have.  They are often unaware or skeptical of your dreams and truest goals.  Accepting the value of the experience of others may be part of good decisions and moving forward, but without self awareness and consciousness, you end up living their lives and dreams.

Self awareness leads to being your authentic self and living your authentic life.    Your authentic self is who you are under all of the turmoil and stress and fears.  It is your strength and passion and joy. It is who you are under all of the stuff we accumulate from the day of our birth…until that moment….that realization….that we have one life and one self.  The freedom that comes with self awareness is the greatest gift a person can give themselves.  The earlier a client discovers it, the more success he or she will have and the further they will go in their dreams.  My role as a Life Coach is to show the client that who he or she is, that the dreams and goals that they hold deepest in their hearts, are possible and that knowing that and believing in that is the most difficult step in the process.  With self awareness, full consciousness of self, the limits of the client are sky high.  He or she will not give up when obstacles pop up, opinions of others will not break the spirit and the coaching program will become self directed and successful.

Leadership Principle number 13

While this principle is the 13th and final in my list of "no matter who you are and no matter where you are" principles, it is not the last key to great leadership by any means.  It is, in fact, only the beginning.

Leadership is about people.  People are the same everywhere....yet each one is different from the other.  We are all a collection of our experiences, our circumstances and the people around us, from our birth until our death.  But we are all human beings and want to protect the people we love, we want to feel valued in one way or another and we crave positive human interaction and touch.  We want our privacy protected and our rights respected.  We want to feel safe.  For some, work is simply a means to an end.  For a lucky few, work is not really work....it is fulfillment of a dream or a lifelong ambition. Some people do volunteer work over and above day to day work, some can only find the time and energy for that job to keep a roof over your head due to circumstances that seem out of their control.

Wherever it is that you work and whether it seems like work or not, there will be leaders.  You might not notice them as they are not always the ones in positions of power.     Some work places have those who call themselves leaders who believe that there job title and a university degree gives them power.  They believe they know everything and are always right.  That is not leadership.

Do not feel the need to be right all of the time.  No one is an expert on everything.  Be flexible and comfortable with that concept

Making mistakes is another human characteristic...it is how we learn and grow.    If we do not make mistakes, we cannot truly move forward as it is those who try and fail, that keep trying.  Be proud  of the fact that you have learned and grown and are moving forward.

Always keep those human beings around you in mind.  Always remember that what you feel is what others feel and that without humanity, there is very little left.  Be a leader...

For more on Leadership Principles and Programs, go to www.unleashtheknow.com   or write to info@unleashtheknow.com

Leadership Principle number 12

As we come near the end of the key leadership principles which are the foundation of the Leadership Program developed by UnLeash the KNOW, we take a look at the value of laughter that a strong leader will encourage and enjoy.  Laughter has long been associated with lower blood pressure, more endorphins and a generally healthy work and home environment.

Humour and laughter breaks down walls and opens communication.  Humour should never offend anyone no matter who is in the room or who may walk into the room at any time.

Laughter shared at the office or in any public  never be offensive to anyone who may walk in the room.  Whether it is a particular word or the theme or target, keep in mind that you do not know a person's previous experience, their background or sensitivities.  A leader will ensure that no one will be offended in what should be a light relaxed moment.  An environment where there is no laughter, can be uncomfortable, tense and less productive.   Offensive humour is equally counter productive and may even lead to union or legal action.

Few things will bond people like a shared laugh.  Remember the punchline and forget the stress, even if just for a moment each day.

Leadership Principle number 11

Leadership principle number ten talked about being informed about relevant issues.  No one can fulfill all of his or her responsibilities and read up on every aspect of every relevant issue and maintain and healthy life and work balance.  The scope is inevitably going to be too wide.  It is important to surround yourself with those with knowledge and experience and to use excellent listening skills with those people.

Learn from others, surround yourself with those with different experiences and knowledge

The wise leader will not only surround him or herself with those who are knowledgeable about a variety of topics but will be wise enough to learn from them, to bow to their expertise when appropriate and to show appreciation for that knowledge and expertise.   It is important to know enough to understand and be comfortable with the topic when your experts speak and it is vital to know enough to know who are the right ones to surround yourself with.  Wanna be s can talk a good game but it takes intelligence and understanding to read through that and ensure the right ones are having their voices heard, not necessarily those who speak the loudest.  Be a wise leader.

For more on leadership programs for your corporation or organization, write to unleashtheknow@outlook.com

Leadership Principle number 10

For all of the personal characteristics that indicate a great leader, there are also some more practical skills which separate "leaders" from Great Leaders.   One of those skills is the willingness and the foresightedness to stay informed on all pertinent and ongoing issues.

Stay informed on all pertinent ongoing issues

A leader who has clearly informed him or her self on pertinent topics, will not only sound logical, but will also make better decisions.  Meetings are more likely to stay on point and budgets will be better spent.  A well informed leader will appreciate the value of well informed staff.

Important information will come from the media, social media, talking with and listening to colleagues,  reading books and ensuring participation in professional development.  A leader will not allow political persuasion or personal gain to sway his or her direction.   He or she will understand that all media and social media has a personal perspective and it must all be put into context.

Pertinent issues may be directly and indirectly connected to the topic at hand.  An example is a leader working in the area of security and emergency management needs to  be aware of severe weather warnings, terrorist events, legislation and local trends in crime and  quality of relationships with other agencies such as police and fire.

Being fully informed is not a difficult or time consuming task.  Keep your eyes and ears open at all times and, even more important is to keep your mind open.  The brain is a muscle....exercise it.

Leadership Principle number 9

What will make one leader stand out from another is how he or she treats others.   We all tend to treat our supervisors or bosses with at least a moderate amount of respect.  How do we treat those working for us such as the cleaner or security guard?

Always treat others with honesty, respect and fairness

Let us define honesty, respect and fairness.

Honesty is not simply the absence of lies but the lack of full disclosure of the truth.  In the workplace, everyone does not need to know everything. However anything relevant to the work or work environment does need full disclosure.  At times that might even mean a statement as simple as “I do not know but will find out and keep you posted”.   In your personal life, full disclosure is FULL DISCLOSURE.  The truth always comes out in he end.  It may seem like the kinder thing to tell white lies or outright lies at times but ultimately, it never works out that way.

Respect is one of the hardest words to define as it means different things to different people.   I regard respect as something earned first of all.  it does not pertain to age or job title or income.  It is relevant only to how you treat people, especially the vulnerable.  It is about how hard are you willing to work to achieve your goals and do you maintain a good set of morals while climbing your way up the ladder.  Are you willing to step on others on your way up or do you help lift others up to move with you instead?  Do you accept responsibility for your words and actions or do you push the responsibility for the things that go wrong onto others while taking credit for the work of others when ever you can?  Your responses to these questions will determine the definition of respect.

Fairness is a simple term to define unlike respect.   Fairness is hearing both sides of a story before making a judgement.  It is putting a situation into context before thinking you know how it feels.  It is judging a person for their heart and mind instead of their clothing, religion, skin colour, sexual orientation or gender.

The most common tool at work, used to destroy all of these things, is office gossip and rumour.  It seems to be a rampant disease in the workplace and has destroyed the careers and spirit of many hard working people.   A true leader will never participate in these behaviours and will do everything to maintain a professional environment at all times.  Be fair, be respectful and be honest.  It always gets returned.

Leadership Principles part 8

Leadership should be inspiring and motivating.  How do you know if you are successful?  Who is striving to be like you and comes to you for guidance and advice?  Teaching and mentoring others is one of the most important roles you have as a leader

Mentor and educate others, support them in meeting their challenges and goals

Teaching and mentoring is what assures the continuing success of the company.  Taking those from within the ranks and lifting them up, even if it means that they leave the company to test their skills and knowledge elsewhere, is a positive thing.  It assures the lasting legacy of leadership.

Do not make the mistake of thinking that only those with advanced education or better job titles, deserve the benefit of your mentoring.  Too often those in entry level positions are passed up because of the lack of that certain framed piece of paper.  I personally believe in the value of education but strongly implore those in senior and leadership positions to look at the whole person.  If he or she does not have certain credentials, do they have other ones?  Why have they not received significant post secondary education?  Is she or he a single parent, parent of a sick child or perhaps caring for elderly or sick parents?  Some highly intelligent and hard working people just never had the opportunity due to personal situations.  So do not overlook them when mentoring.  I would even suggest that you seek out those with personal characteristics of excellent work ethic and drive along side those who have had more opportunities land freely in their lap.  I recognize that this may be controversial however I implore you to first of all implement a mentoring program within your work place,  Secondly I implore you to mentor based on merit on a flexible list of criteria.   Beyond raising your children, this will contribute the most to a better world and a bright future.

Leadership Principles part 7

As referred to in previous posts, one vital element in leadership, is acknowledging that we are human beings, working with / for and serving other human beings.   We ALL have our strengths and our weaknesses,  Characteristics  and personalities tend to fall into one of several categories which leads to many types of communicators,  One size does not fit all, even in the workplace.  None of these types of communication styles precludes professionalism or ethical behaviour,  Leaders, however must be aware of these facts and, to be fully effective, must demonstrate a degree of efficiency in each of the ways.  It does require knowing those that you are leading.  It requires understanding them.

Demonstrate that you value your colleagues / team members / family members / friends as human beings as well as sources of information and labour

We all want our fair pay for the work we do.  When we start a new job, generally speaking, we are pleased with the pay and feel properly rewarded for the tasks ahead.  So why does this become less effective as time goes on?  Why do we begin that search for the next job or begin to slack off in our duties?  More often than not, it is because we do not feel valued,  Professionals do not need a daily pat on the back nor reinforcement for doing our job,  However even the most seasoned professionals appreciate the acknowledgement for going above and beyond, for consistent effort and for being a positive influence at work,  The simple act of a genuine smile, a good morning, a thank you goes a very long way to a stressed or overworked employee.  A leader who only finds fault and points out the negative, will never establish a team of loyal employees who put out their best effort everyday.  Burn out and extended stress leave are relatively new phenomenon in office environments.  Never before were employees feeling that they were on duty 24 / 7 thanks to the increasing use of smart phones.

I was in one job, one that should have been exciting and so fulfilling, but which became intolerable after ten months.  I was on call 24 / 7 for ten months straight.  I worked an average of 75 hours per week, sometimes as many as 100 hours in a week.  i did not get extra pay, time off or bonuses.  More importantly, I never heard “good job” or “thank you” or “I appreciate your extra effort and dedication to the job”.  I heard about all of the things I did wrong in my boss’s eyes, but no positive or encouraging words.  The organization promoted theories such as putting the right person on the bus, moving from good to great and various other leadership concepts,  This was the corporate talk.  It was not the corporate walk however.

These same values and leadership practices should be applied equally in your personal life.  Too often we focus on our work environments and take our family and friends for granted.  While I speak here about the workplace, do not neglect those who are most important to you.

Say thank you.  Give a hug when appropriate,  Ask a person how he or she is and actually listen to the answer.  Do not just hear the words, listen to them.  Read body language and facial expressions.  They will teach you alot more than any words will tell you.  Be sensitive to people around you who may be going through an exceptionally difficult time and be as flexible as possible to allow him or her to work through the problem without adding further to their stress by making them feel invaluable,  It builds loyalty, reduces sick days and will create an environment of respect and hard work.  Be human, Be a leader who is so equal that you stand head and shoulders above all others.

Leadership Principles part 6

As discussed in a previous blog, it is essential that a great leader be able to think outside of the box before making many decisions. It is equally important that a leader be ready to make a decision quickly and with confidence.

Be open to other ways of doing things  but always be ready to make decisions as required.

Part of the characteristics of a strong leader is one who is efficient and effective and who has the backbone to make decisions, even the hard ones.   That includes the willingness to stand up for those decisions, to stand by them and to admit when a decision was wrong which will be inevitable at times.

In an ideal world, we would all have hours or days to make important decisions, ones that impact others.  We could then explore options, look outside the box and process these options using various scenarios and outcomes.  In many situations however, that is simply not possible.  Within some industries, instantaneous decisions are often called for, especially in policing, military and security industries.  Time may be a luxury that is not possible to utilize.   A great leader must be ready to make those quick decisions.  He or she knows when to take the time to consider all options and when to be firm, efficient and decisive.  The strength of a leader is in his or her backbone, as well as calm, cool and intelligent decisions.

Going from surviving to living...how do I begin?

I know from repeated personal experience, how problems can overwhelm you, making you see no further than surviving today.  We are frequently told to plan for the future.  We are bombarded with this message by financial experts, teachers, work supervisors and friends.  Plan , plan, plan….the every man’s version of location location location…the realtor’s mantra.  But how to move past today?

Let me say first of all that when the bills collectors are calling, the utilities are at risk of being shut off and you do not know how much longer you can keep that roof over your head, nothing more than today matters.  You know that eventually tomorrow will arrive and the bills and the problems will still be there.  It is too much to think about.  Even when you love being alive and are not suicidal, the momentary thought of the possibility of not seeing tomorrow, can be comforting.   So how do you move forward?  How do you find that path out of this situation?  Whether you are working or in school or on social assistance of some type due to no fault of your own, there is a solution.  Working with a certified life coach can help you.  Does it cost money?  Yes…money that I know you do not have.  Private arrangements can be made confidentially.

Why would I be willing to make arrangements based on your difficult situation, when I can easily spend my time making alot more money?  Because I have been there and I would have done anything to have someone help me.  I needed a shoulder…someone to lean on.  I have been blessed enough to have finally found a way to lean on myself instead but at times I ask myself how much easier the path would have been, how much less time it would have taken, if only I had had that someone years ago.

I have five spots open to help clients in this situation.  I can help anyone who is truly motivated and is willing to do the work required.  If you are in Canada or the USA, send me an email.  Give me a brief summary of your story.  I will take five clients…once those spots are filled, this opportunity will expire.  Please pass this message on if you know someone who would benefit from a Certified Life Coach.

unleashtheknow@outlook.com

please put surviving to living in the subject line

Leadership Principles part 5

We have all had managers, supervisors or others in positions of authority over us, set certain standards for our behavior, but not follow their own rules.  One of the most frustrating elements in the workplace is hypocrisy and double standards.  One of the most important elements for leadership to be effective is

Motivate and Lead by Example

Nothing pulls together a team faster than a leader who says what she / he means, means what she / he says and who leads by example.  A sense of security and comfort develops in a workplace or other environment, where the rules and standards are straightforward.  Ambiguity which leads to a sense of  ”cliquishness”, favoritism or uncertainty often leads to divisiveness and a high stress level.  Productivity is reduced and sick days increase.

Be the leader that employees, colleagues and those senior to you, respect and appreciate.   Be the leader that is held up as an example and who people look forward to seeing and working with.  Being a leader like this is easier than you think and is a valuable investment in yourself.

Leadership Principles continued

So far we have established some characteristics for exemplary leadership.  How does a leader know that he or she is making a good and sound decision?  There are some principles which can help make the best decision possible.

Think outside the box when you make decisions

Most corporations, large or small, private or public sector, have policies and guidelines on how everything from security to finances to client service will be put into place.  Even though these policies are often written in general terms, they are not interpreted except in the narrowest of contexts.  In order to protect oneself from liability, protect their job or protect the integrity of the company, managers generally make decisions based on those narrow interpretations.  What would happen if they thought outside the box?

Corporations are often as seen strictly as business lines and bottom lines.  The inevitable fact, however, is that businesses are human beings serving the needs of other human beings.   Government serves it citizens ultimately.   Factories produce product for human consumers.  The media seeks human viewers.  All business ultimately serve human needs and wants.  Human beings come with emotions, history and opinions.  Having flexibility within  the policies to go outside the box is of great value.  When I was a security manager of a major convention centre, I often said that my job was to take care of my staff.  It was their job to take care of the convention centre clients.   I provided my staff with the tools, the training and the information that they needed to do their jobs.  We wrote policy together, based on basic industry wide best practices, but left room for input based on our specific needs and the needs of our potential clients.  I put trust and value in my staff and in turn, was rewarded with loyalty and a high level of excellence.   We went outside the box where possible and where it would better serve the human beings involved.  To determine that one way fits all gets the work done but does not get the results desired.

Another example is of one inventor who wanted the major chain stores to carry his product.  No one would.  This was in the late 1960s.  So he began a marketing campaign saying that his product was available in each of those stores that had turned him down.  Consumers went in demanding his products and the stores were forced to call him, ask for those items and he was then able to demand a better deal for himself.   The company became a household name and was one of the most popular producers of  gadgets and other products in the 1960s and 70s.

Thinking outside the box simply means being open to the clients and the staff and having some built in flexibility which will enhance the experience of all involved.  Do not be afraid to try new things and new ways of doing things.  Without change and new possibilities, we cannot stand out in our fields.

Leadership Principles part 3

One of the absolute most important features or qualities of a true leader is effective communication.  No matter how powerful or important your message is, if you are not being understood clearly, the message and is lost.

Ongoing communication  should be clear and effective. ensuring your message is easily heard and understood,  Ensure that you are , in turn, hearing and understanding others in the messages they are conveying.

it is always recommended to repeat back what you hear and understand to a person you are speaking with, especially when in a stressful situation.  This, of course, must be done in a respectful way so that the person knows that you are simply ensuring that you have understood properly.

Communication must always be two ways.  More arguments, misunderstandings and stress is caused by unclear communication than actual issues.  One of the roles of a leader is to ensure the communication of the people around leads towards solutions, not problems,

Leadership Principles part two

Part of being a leader, is knowing both your strengths and your weaknesses.   We all have both, however at times we seem to get caught up with knowing what we know, without stretching our boundaries personally as well as professionally.

Acknowledge that self improvement is a never ending challenge and that education must be ongoing.

It is so easy to get comfortable in being who we are.  While being comfortable as a human being is vitally important, it is simply not enough as a contributing human being or as a leader.  Self improvement includes taking an honest look at yourself.  How patient are you?  How easily do you get angry?  How well do you listen to others without having pre conceived notions of what you will say in response to what has not yet come out of their mouths?

Whether you have a high school diploma or a graduate degree, how far do you stretch your learning opportunities?  Do you make time to read novels or biographies?  What do you know about those whose path you want to follow?  Have you ever analysed all of the skill sets you may need for your career to grow, then followed through with taking a course?  Oprah Winfrey's success did not come from her talk show.  Her professional and  financial success came from her business knowledge and her ability to open her mind to  understand the politics, the accounting and the marketing of being Oprah.

Whether you take a course, read a book or listen to an audio book as you lay in your bath at night, keep on learning.  Take a few extra minutes to listen fully, breathe in slowly as you sit in traffic and use that time to think positive thoughts and enjoy your own company instead of leaning on your car's horn.  Every moment that passes without learning and improving, is  a moment lost.  Enjoy it.  Life is amazing when you grab as much of it as it allows.

Leadership Principles

While any leadership program must be tailored to a corporation or organization building the program, certain essential principles are universal.  Military or police organizations will modify the wording to take into account the innate structure and chain of command of these organizations.

Over the next several days I will post foundation principles of leadership and define them.  Please feel free to comment.

Always maintain professional ethics and standards, in the workplace and in public, especially in these days of social media and cell phone cameras. 

A true leader is one who commands respect in part by how he or she conducts themselves in a consistent and professional manner.  It is so easy to think our social media posts are private, view able only to our friends and family.  We believe that once we delete a photo or comment if we have a more sober second thought, it is gone.  The fact is once something is in cyberspace, it will be there long past our own expiry date.    Perception is truly everything.  As the old saying goes, you only have one opportunity to make a first impression.   What is never said is that the second impression and ongoing impressions are what will be most present in the observers mind.  So keep your public image one which you can be proud of, one which will not come back to haunt you.  Know that the world is watching, whether you have invited them in or not.

Fibromyalgia - the first step towards the rest of your life

For those who have a chronic disorder such as Fibromyalgia, you are used to talking about good days and bad days.  I challenge you to now start considering talking about good days and great days.   What are the good days?  They are the days you wake up.  You open your eyes and see sunshine or rain or snow or the night sky.  You can think of at least one person who you will communicate with that day...a family member, a friend or a colleague.  Your day will start with hot water to wash with, coffee or tea or juice, clothing appropriate to the weather to put on, electricity to watch the news on tv or listen to music on your charged mp3 player.  Be grateful for those things.  If you absolutely need to take medications, do so, but do not take them in anticipation of pain.   Thinking about pain will most definitely contribute to the likelihood that you will feel increased pain.  If this is a good day and not a great day, try to find sometime for an extra nap.  Eat something special or put your special perfume or cologne on.  Do whatever it is that you do when it is a great day.  Use only positive language.  Do not allow yourself to say anything negative or angry, even if you feel quite differently.  When you find yourself slipping into negative language, change it quickly.  Doing this helps prepare you for a great day.  You are able to fun off at least 10 things you are grateful for.

A great day is when you wake up, open your eyes and see sunshine or rain or snow or perhaps the night sky.  The weather doesn't take away your optimism for the day.You will talk to at least one person who you love and who loves you, whether it be friend or family.  You will be able to enjoy the use of free flowing hot water, food and drink you enjoy and will hear a song you want to sing with.  You put on clothing which makes you feel comfortable and relaxed.  You are able to run off at least 10 things you are grateful for.  You have energy and you walk out the door smiling.

There are no bad days.  Bad days implies that there is no hope. There is nothing and no one positive in your life.  There is something good in everyone's life, even when living with fibromyalgia or another chronic illness. Everyday we are living with it but too many decide that they are not able to live, only exist.  Why then say we are living with it?  We are not dying, we are not just existing with it.  We live with it...so live.  Is the pain and exhaustion real?  Absolutely it is.  It might want to make you cry or spend the day in bed.  Disability is one word commonly used in relation to it, yet are disabled?  No, we are enabled to appreciate the richness of our lives.  We can appreciate the good moments better than one who doesn't know differently.    for me a week without a debilitating headache is a huge victory.  Since I began using positive language along with other empowering techniques, I have had only 3 relatively minor headaches in 2 months.  My arms and shoulders hurt in a way I cannot explain to my family....but life is wonderful and I am blessed.  Everyday is now great.

Asking for help. Why is it so hard?

Asking for help. Why is it so hard?

One of the biggest stumbling blocks anybody runs into on their way to improving their life, is the fear of asking for help.

It is important to be clear on what it is that makes us afraid to ask for help.  Reasons are usually either “not wanting to bother anyone” or fear of being refused.  the most successful people in the world have achieved success with help, with support from someone.  Most people are more than happy to help in any way that they are able to help.  That is not to say that everyone can help in a way you may think you need help.  You may have to modify what help you truly need.  Often, what a person really needs is someone who can help you figure out what it is you need to do, a plan to help put actions in an effective order and a sounding board for those choices which will need to be made.  

The fear of refusal to give help, especially from someone you thought you could really count on, can leave you feeling hurt and questioning your relationship as well as the thing for which you asked for help.  Few people will move forward with a life plan if they are not being given the help they believe they need. So how do we resolve this without giving up a plan or idea?

First we must accept the fact that some people just have no idea of how to help and feel that if they are unable to give you exactly what you are asking for, they have nothing to offer you.  Perhaps we need to learn to ask for help in a more open fashion.  ”I would like to talk to you about an idea….can you spare some time to listen?”  Secondly, we need to be okay with some people saying no.  It has happened to virtually everyone who has tried anything.  

Are you truly bothering someone by asking for help?  Well asking someone while he or she is on the phone is not a good time, or while they are in a meeting.  Be thoughtful in your timing.  Be confident and clear as to what you are talking about. Do not go off onto tangents which take the focus off of your plan.  

When you need more than what you feel you can ask for from your family or friends, it is wise to consider a life coach.  At UnLeash the KNOW, I can help you focus in on what your goals are, how to best achieve them and provide you with the steps you require to take your idea from dream to reality.  UnLeash the KNOW is your cheerleader, your teacher and your reality check.   Get in touch and take that first step towards your future.

http://unleashtheknow.wix.com/unleashtheknow

     I think that I first heard the term "authentic self" when I was watching Oprah one day, many years ago.  I wasn't sure at the time what it meant.  Since then I have done alot of reading and listening and most of all, I have done alot of self exploration.  I now believe that I have found my authentic self and I understand what it is.

     My authentic self is a helper, a giver and a supporter of people who want to bring change into their lives.  I am not a person who has much to offer a person who complains but doesn't want to make changes.  The victim mentality has no place in my authentic self.  I have been a single parent, a woman with some failed and some successful relationships but as much hurt as anyone.  I have faced the fear of nearly losing a child.  I have faced such intense loneliness that I could actually feel my heart tearing apart.  I have Fibromyalgia and live with constant pain and fatigue.  I have been afraid and I have questioned my choices and path numerous times.  I have NEVER BEEN A VICTIM  My authentic self is a strong, capable and intelligent woman.  I am passionate and protective and my life is filled with joy and happiness.

     Your authentic self is who you are under all of the turmoil and stress and fears.  It is your strength and passion and joy.  Find your authentic self.  A Certified Coach Practioner can help you.  UnLeashtheKNOW@outlook.com