Fibromyalgia - the first step towards the rest of your life

For those who have a chronic disorder such as Fibromyalgia, you are used to talking about good days and bad days.  I challenge you to now start considering talking about good days and great days.   What are the good days?  They are the days you wake up.  You open your eyes and see sunshine or rain or snow or the night sky.  You can think of at least one person who you will communicate with that day...a family member, a friend or a colleague.  Your day will start with hot water to wash with, coffee or tea or juice, clothing appropriate to the weather to put on, electricity to watch the news on tv or listen to music on your charged mp3 player.  Be grateful for those things.  If you absolutely need to take medications, do so, but do not take them in anticipation of pain.   Thinking about pain will most definitely contribute to the likelihood that you will feel increased pain.  If this is a good day and not a great day, try to find sometime for an extra nap.  Eat something special or put your special perfume or cologne on.  Do whatever it is that you do when it is a great day.  Use only positive language.  Do not allow yourself to say anything negative or angry, even if you feel quite differently.  When you find yourself slipping into negative language, change it quickly.  Doing this helps prepare you for a great day.  You are able to fun off at least 10 things you are grateful for.

A great day is when you wake up, open your eyes and see sunshine or rain or snow or perhaps the night sky.  The weather doesn't take away your optimism for the day.You will talk to at least one person who you love and who loves you, whether it be friend or family.  You will be able to enjoy the use of free flowing hot water, food and drink you enjoy and will hear a song you want to sing with.  You put on clothing which makes you feel comfortable and relaxed.  You are able to run off at least 10 things you are grateful for.  You have energy and you walk out the door smiling.

There are no bad days.  Bad days implies that there is no hope. There is nothing and no one positive in your life.  There is something good in everyone's life, even when living with fibromyalgia or another chronic illness. Everyday we are living with it but too many decide that they are not able to live, only exist.  Why then say we are living with it?  We are not dying, we are not just existing with it.  We live with it...so live.  Is the pain and exhaustion real?  Absolutely it is.  It might want to make you cry or spend the day in bed.  Disability is one word commonly used in relation to it, yet are disabled?  No, we are enabled to appreciate the richness of our lives.  We can appreciate the good moments better than one who doesn't know differently.    for me a week without a debilitating headache is a huge victory.  Since I began using positive language along with other empowering techniques, I have had only 3 relatively minor headaches in 2 months.  My arms and shoulders hurt in a way I cannot explain to my family....but life is wonderful and I am blessed.  Everyday is now great.

Asking for help. Why is it so hard?

Asking for help. Why is it so hard?

One of the biggest stumbling blocks anybody runs into on their way to improving their life, is the fear of asking for help.

It is important to be clear on what it is that makes us afraid to ask for help.  Reasons are usually either “not wanting to bother anyone” or fear of being refused.  the most successful people in the world have achieved success with help, with support from someone.  Most people are more than happy to help in any way that they are able to help.  That is not to say that everyone can help in a way you may think you need help.  You may have to modify what help you truly need.  Often, what a person really needs is someone who can help you figure out what it is you need to do, a plan to help put actions in an effective order and a sounding board for those choices which will need to be made.  

The fear of refusal to give help, especially from someone you thought you could really count on, can leave you feeling hurt and questioning your relationship as well as the thing for which you asked for help.  Few people will move forward with a life plan if they are not being given the help they believe they need. So how do we resolve this without giving up a plan or idea?

First we must accept the fact that some people just have no idea of how to help and feel that if they are unable to give you exactly what you are asking for, they have nothing to offer you.  Perhaps we need to learn to ask for help in a more open fashion.  ”I would like to talk to you about an idea….can you spare some time to listen?”  Secondly, we need to be okay with some people saying no.  It has happened to virtually everyone who has tried anything.  

Are you truly bothering someone by asking for help?  Well asking someone while he or she is on the phone is not a good time, or while they are in a meeting.  Be thoughtful in your timing.  Be confident and clear as to what you are talking about. Do not go off onto tangents which take the focus off of your plan.  

When you need more than what you feel you can ask for from your family or friends, it is wise to consider a life coach.  At UnLeash the KNOW, I can help you focus in on what your goals are, how to best achieve them and provide you with the steps you require to take your idea from dream to reality.  UnLeash the KNOW is your cheerleader, your teacher and your reality check.   Get in touch and take that first step towards your future.

http://unleashtheknow.wix.com/unleashtheknow

     I think that I first heard the term "authentic self" when I was watching Oprah one day, many years ago.  I wasn't sure at the time what it meant.  Since then I have done alot of reading and listening and most of all, I have done alot of self exploration.  I now believe that I have found my authentic self and I understand what it is.

     My authentic self is a helper, a giver and a supporter of people who want to bring change into their lives.  I am not a person who has much to offer a person who complains but doesn't want to make changes.  The victim mentality has no place in my authentic self.  I have been a single parent, a woman with some failed and some successful relationships but as much hurt as anyone.  I have faced the fear of nearly losing a child.  I have faced such intense loneliness that I could actually feel my heart tearing apart.  I have Fibromyalgia and live with constant pain and fatigue.  I have been afraid and I have questioned my choices and path numerous times.  I have NEVER BEEN A VICTIM  My authentic self is a strong, capable and intelligent woman.  I am passionate and protective and my life is filled with joy and happiness.

     Your authentic self is who you are under all of the turmoil and stress and fears.  It is your strength and passion and joy.  Find your authentic self.  A Certified Coach Practioner can help you.  UnLeashtheKNOW@outlook.com